Category Archive: Healing

    The Monster (I Am) A Modern Day Frankenstein

    Just after the nasty assault, I became the Monster.  That’s how I felt.  On the outside, I played sweet music, the confident, happy-go-lucky, successful guy.  But in reality, on the inside, I felt dirty and disfigured–just like the phantom searching, constantly playing for love.  Unfortunately, I found it in all the wrong places.  Wanting to […]

    Music Can Help You Breathe

    Since I’ve come out about my sexual assault, people have been asking me, “How’d you deal with something like that?” It doesn’t take me long to give them my answer, “Music.  Music helped get me through those desperate, dark, lonely times.”  At first it was rock and roll.  Songs of angst, revolution, and revolt became […]

    The Funny Duck

    Immediately after “the incident” I felt different. I mean, who wouldn’t!?  One of your older buddies, a person you thought was a friend, violated you.  Even at eleven years old, I understood the feeling of shame. And intense shame it was.  Feelings of great unworthiness and deep sadness would become my constant internal companions as […]

    Parade Day

    Loneliness……. how could somebody be lonely? It seemed people were always around, All the noise, the screaming, the fighting, the crying, When there was silence, it was almost as bad, The silence and tension were just the calm before the storm, And the storm……. always came. You could never predict it, But you knew it […]


    I remember trembling on my urine-soaked hospital bed, As the thunder clapped and the lightning struck what seemed like only inches from my eight year old head, Frozen and unable to move for fear that my stitches might rip loose and my chest cavity burst open, It was the night she first appeared, She had […]

    “John: The Invisible Man”

    “John: The Invisible Man” This is my first expose written about myself.  For over 40 years, I kept a dark, dirty secret.  The details of being sexually assaulted at 11 years old are not important. Trust me.  It wasn’t pretty. At that moment, when the perpetrator literally passed out on top of me after his […]